There is an old song we sing at church occasionally, and one line of the lyrics says, If you’ve tried everything and everything has failed, try Jesus. I was that person. I had tried everything and everything in life failed me. By the time I was 19 years old I had 2 children with a man I thought loved me. I was so alone and desperate to be loved that I left with the first person that said I love you to me, a man ten years my elder. I was two weeks shy of being fifteen years old. I left my family, friends, and school and moved to California with him. I thought having a boyfriend and having kids would fill the horrible emptiness. But that wasn’t what I was truly missing. I tried marijuana and alcohol to forget my troubles and to ease my pain, but that never worked, on the contrary, it left me even more depressed and miserable. I tried to just live with the agony inside me, thinking I can pretend to be happy, cry myself to sleep at night, and wait in misery until death took me, obviously, that didn’t work. I tried to focus on being a mom but I had no idea how to be a mom. I tried bettering myself and started reading books and tried going back to school, but nothing worked. Eventually, I became angry. Angry at life, at people, and even at God. I had begged God in times past to show me the truth, to show me where to go, and what to do, but it seemed like not even God listened or cared. I never paid attention to the fact that my ex-boyfriend's sister Julie had been inviting me to church and perhaps that was God reaching out to me and trying to show me His love. Because by then I had let anger and resentment get the best of me. I kept saying I would go to church with her but had no intentions of actually following through.
But then came the news that my dad had passed away. My world was turned upside down. At the time of my dad's passing, I hated him. I hadn’t spoken to him in years. I hadn’t forgiven him for all the years of abuse inflicted on me and my siblings and even worse the abuse we witnessed that he inflicted on my mom. And I was so hurt and angry that I would never get to tell my dad how I felt. I would never get to give him a piece of my mind! I was furious that he “got away” with everything he did and said!
I traveled to Washington for his funeral and afterward, I stayed with my sister for a few days and attended her church. I was in awe! The presence of God was so powerful, and even though I didn’t fully understand what I was feeling I knew it was a God moment and that He had answered my prayers! God was listening after all and He was working everything out at just the right time. God had led me to the truth that I had been longing for, and I was ready. I asked many questions and realized that the church Julie had been inviting me to, had the same doctrinal beliefs as my sister's church. This was very important to me because I had been to a few other churches and I wanted to be sure that I was in truth, and the things being taught were right out of the Bible truth! I don’t know how but somehow I knew if it was in the Bible then that was the right thing to follow after. Later, I learned the Bible is the very Word of God and in it, we can find help, hope, instruction, and inspiration. It’s where we get understanding and faith, and so much more. When I arrived back home, I attended church with Julie and her family. Eventually, I repented of my sins and was baptized in the beautiful name of Jesus. God dealt with my heart, it took a while but I was able to forgive my dad. And soon after, God filled me with the Holy Ghost. Jesus is the way and the truth. The Bible says that knowing the truth will set us free. And I am finally free. Free of despair and anguish, self-hatred, and desperate loneliness and emptiness. I’m free of the bondage of sin.
I said all that to say this, try Jesus! He won’t let you down. If you’re not one hundred percent sure you’re in truth, be sure. Be sure what you believe is Bible facts. Be sure you’re doing all that you should be doing to make it to Heaven. Seek God now, pray, and ask Him to lead you to truth. Don’t give up! Ask with an open heart and mind, He will answer.
* Jeremiah 29:12-13
* 2 Timothy 3:16
* Acts 2:38
* John 14:6
* John 8:32
* Romans 8:2
* Isaiah 55:6
* Matthew 7:7